Here's a story of the worst relationship fight I had. 

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats) 08/15/2017 at 22:01 • Filed to: None

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In college I dated a woman. It’s a long story and worthy of its own story. Anyway.

She thought she was sick. We were out shopping for art supplies and she said she needed water, so I volunteered to go get her some. I go out, find a store with water, bring it back.

She takes a sip. “It’s cold.”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you get room temperature? I’m sick. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”

“No?”

[Pours half of the bottle out and throws the rest away]

“You don’t care about me. You don’t care if I die. We’re breaking up.”

“No. Don’t go. Stay.”

I walk off.

I go to a headshop to celebrate and buy myself a Zippo lighter.

I go back and she’s packing and talking about how I don’t care about her. I give her the Zippo and say “I bought you this.”

She starts crying.

We broke up two years later. I found the lighter and kept it. It was mine to begin with. It’s my lucky lighter.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/15/2017 at 22:08

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This story and it’s structure does me a confuse.

scoob > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/15/2017 at 22:09

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Honeybunchesofgoats > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 08/15/2017 at 22:10

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That’s what being in that relationship was like. The full story involves attempted suicide and me telling a cop I was going to “punch him in the fucking face.” It... it was not my best relationship.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/15/2017 at 22:12

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Can we get the fuller story then?

Honeybunchesofgoats > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 08/15/2017 at 22:18

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When I’m more sober. The abridged version is that she attempted to kill herself and in the course of looking for her, I called the police. The police officer who responded was slightly belligerent and was questioning me as if I was a suspect. When I heard from someone who found her, I ran off. Later, while waiting for the ambulance, he said he could arrest me. I told him I was going to “punch you in the fucking face, you mother fucker.” Then I told the university’s rep (this was in college), “if you don’t get this mother fucker away from me, I will see to it that you and this mother fucker lose your jobs. I’ve had a long night and I’m a spiteful cocksucker, so I will spend every cent to fuck you over.”

Good times. College was fun once I realized they were terrified of being sued.

Berang > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/15/2017 at 22:22

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dating

DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/15/2017 at 22:24

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Now I have something else to add to my list of redflags to look for.

“Why didn’t you get room temperature? I’m sick. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”

Honeybunchesofgoats > DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time 08/15/2017 at 22:25

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Seriously, where the fuck do you find room temperature water?

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/15/2017 at 22:39

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I dated a girl from Wyoming once. End of story. You should try this, Wyoming produces very interesting people.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/15/2017 at 22:41

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This is how it would play out with me:

“Why didn’t you get room temperature? I’m sick. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”

Me: “if I wanted to kill you, I’d use something more effective that a bottle of goddamn water”

“We’re breaking up”

Me: “Okay” (walk away from her and to my car)

And I was in a relationship that was very much like that... where she had some batshit crazy logic and would use that batshit crazy logic as a “reason” to break up... 3 times. Of course 5 minutes after, i get a million and one calls and texts asking me to come back.

And I used this behaviour as a reason why I didn’t want to live with her... let alone anything beyond that

And by the third breakup, I was at the point I simply didn’t care if we stayed together.

The “emotional basket case” issues offset her awesome double-D tits and other things I liked about her.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/15/2017 at 22:43

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Grocery store... either in the juice or pop isle.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/15/2017 at 22:50

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I just had another idea relating to this:

“Why didn’t you get room temperature? I’m sick. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”

Instead of responding to that idiocy, play this song instead:

Flynorcal: pilot, offshore sailor, car racer and panty thief > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/15/2017 at 22:55

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“I go back”

I found your mistake. Right there.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/15/2017 at 23:03

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You and I.....we may have dated from the same pool of crazy.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 08/15/2017 at 23:15

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What’s wrong with girls from Wyoming?

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 08/15/2017 at 23:52

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This pretty much sums it up. It was a fun and crazy ride.

random001 > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/16/2017 at 06:41

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We need more drunk HBOG stories...

Roundbadge > random001 08/16/2017 at 07:16

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I...I didn’t....know...that there were sober HBOG stories.

random001 > Roundbadge 08/16/2017 at 07:20

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I concede the point, good sir!

Roundbadge > random001 08/16/2017 at 07:30

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I need to Oppo more at night. I miss the best stuff and feel like a nerd for commenting in the morning.

random001 > Roundbadge 08/16/2017 at 07:33

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Eh, it’s all good. I am usually up pretty early, so I have early oppo time. All oppo time is a good time to oppo.

ateamfan42 > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 08/16/2017 at 09:46

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The “emotional basket case” issues offset her awesome double-D tits and other things I liked about her.

ateamfan42 > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/16/2017 at 09:49

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The bulk packages of bottle water are usually stored at room temperature in stores.

I think the bigger question is why someone would think cold water would harm them, or why they thought their partner could read their mind on water temperature preferences.

CaptDale - is secretly British > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/16/2017 at 12:23

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huh.... thanks for sharing?

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > ateamfan42 08/17/2017 at 19:47

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Yeah... she started out below the Hot/crazy line, but as the relationship went on, she deviated into the Danger Zone.

Lol

ateamfan42 > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 08/18/2017 at 08:52

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Well, as mentioned on the video, a woman can disappear from one place on the chart, and reappear anywhere else. Sounds like you experience that :)